Ways of Being with Kids- RIE Philosophy
For those moments we want a “handbook” for interacting with kids….
The RIE philosophy (Resources for Infant Educarers), founded on the work of Magda Gerber, is based on the belief that babies are whole, competent beings from birth and should be treated as such. It emphasizes the connection between caregiver and the baby and instilling inherit trust in both baby and caregiver. Next up: a brief break down of the RIE philosophy from a Thriving Littles/occupational therapist perspective.
“According to RIE, an authentic child is one who feels secure, autonomous, competent, and connected. It encourages appreciating the child for who they ARE - not who we want them to be or expect them to be.”
An Authentic Child: The idea behind RIE is guiding “development” of an authentic child. According to RIE, an authentic child is one who feels secure, autonomous, competent, and connected. It encourages appreciating the child for who they ARE - not who we want them to be or expect them to be.
Our mission is to help the child to know that we're truly interested in seeing who they are. This relates strongly to Dan Siegel's attachment principle that to be organized and connected we need to be seen, safe, soothed, and secure. This element goes back to “seeing” a child in a way that's very regulating to the body and the mind and the nervous system for life - not just “seeing” them as a method or modality but because we are truly, wisely interested in learning them.
Trust in the Infants’ Competence: We have a basic trust in the infant to explore the environment and the world in a way that will develop their bodies and minds and emotions. When we are trusting that kids are capable and competent in some ways and not just passive kind of players in their lives, they develop an ability to feel secure and devout mastery of their actions and an understanding of themself.
Sensitive Observation: In DIR Floor Time, which is a model of therapy that guides my practice, a main phrase that we say is “WAIT, WATCH, WONDER.” This is the same idea: observing and getting to know the child for who they are, looking at what they're doing, reading their cues, reading their signals, and understanding what is behind any behaviors or any actions that they are completing in their life. Sensitive observation is all about observing and learning the child for who they are: “We become more humble, we teach less, and we provide an environment for learning instead.”
“Sensitive observation is all about observing and learning the child for who they are: “We become more humble, we teach less, and we provide an environment for learning instead.” ”
Caregiving Times - Involving the Child: Instead of the infant being a passive player, just laying there, having things happen to them, RIE promotes any aspect of infancy that we are taking care of them we involve them as an active player. An idea I love to recommend for this is tapping the limb of whatever body part you're dressing at the time, instead of just putting on a shirt, we tap their limb and say “this one's next!” “arm number one” “arm number two” - the options are endlessly yours. Making dressing an engaging interactive process with a back and forth that helps the infant and the child know what is expected of them in those moments, and how they can be a meaningfully involved player.
Safe, challenging, predictable environment: As an occupational therapist, my job is to create an environment kids can explore freely and have fun and not be saying constant “no’s” and “stops” and “don'ts”. Janet Lansbury calls this a “YES Space”. If we create a space that kids are open and free and feel safe and secure, then we're matching the environment to their developmental needs at the time. This is helpful when it comes to development and exploration.
Time for uninterrupted play and the freedom to explore: The RIE mission is to allow moments for kids to get in their “flow state”: when they're totally invested in their learning or the activities and whatever they're doing and give them space to be on their own and explore. In those moments, we are admiring what they are doing no matter what it is -even if it seems entirely simple and trivial. Instead of teaching, we allow the child to explore on their own and guide their own learning process.
Consistency: This is very aligned with occupational therapy. There is a daily routine, rituals, daily structure with clearly defined limits. Activities, expectations, limits about the world are communicated clearly and directly with our expectations to create a secure foundation for the children to develop and grow from. This consistency will allow freedom for creativity to blossom. My lady Brene Brown says “Clear is kind; unclear is unkind” - through our clarity and consistency, we set foundation the beautifully creative spontaneity kids inherently bring.
“Affective interaction is the nonverbal, gestural, body-based communication that enriches and nurtures brain development and gives us a rich back-and-forth with another human. ”
Where I divert from RIE: I love so much about the RIE philosophy, and I think it's one of the most helpful out there for so many kids. It has such a focus on respect and appreciation for who the child is and what they are capable of. From an OT perspective, there are a couple of aspects I want us to think more about.
Affective Interaction: Affective interaction is the nonverbal, gestural, body-based communication that enriches and nurtures brain development and gives us a rich back-and-forth with another human. Think about making silly faces at a baby or how babies imitate or start to do the things that we do and use the gestures that we use. In RIE there is some emphasis on talking to kids like you would an adult - authentically. It’s intentions are authenticity, respect, rooted in a deep appreciation for who the child is and that they are their person in their individual.
What we may miss in this is that affective interaction with varied tone, prosody, varied facial expression, and guiding kids to experience a wide range of emotional stimuli drives brain development. Consider “Motherese,” the label behind voices parents may naturally use to talk to babies. We might raise our pitch, raise prosody of language, vary tone in ways we would have never imagined. We talk to babies differently from how we would friends, whether or not we know it means explosions of development for the child’s brain. If we're talking to kids like adults, it has potential to strip some of that brain development and the child’s ability to read social cues, emotional signals, and understand their body/internal emotional and sensational cues. This sets foundation for how kids read situations, understand others, make meaning of the world, and gain a sense of emotional security from all of that.
“While kids are beautifully their own beings and will guide their learning, us jumping in, expanding that play, adding our authentic spontaneity, engaging alongside them with rich affect can allow them to learn about the potential elatedness and messiness of this wild life we live - the joy we humans can experience together versus on our own.”
How to remedy: Interact in wide, silly ways while reading child’s cues to know when we are too much, too little, when they want more. Be joyful, playful, sad, frustrated, “woo” them in to engagement. Play. Initiate. Share ideas. While kids are beautifully their own beings and will guide their learning, us facilitating it and jumping in, expanding that play, adding authentic ideas can guide them to learn about the potential joy and messiness of this wild life we live.
“They achieve the comfortable, uncomfortable yet still safe, back to comfortable exchange that sets foundation not just for sensory integration, motor development but organization and regulation all throughout the lifespan - all wrapped into a simple “tummy time” session.”
Tummy Time: RIE does not promote tummy time. RIE’s intention of saying no tummy time is rooting in not forcing any developmental movement patterns as kids will figure it out on their own. From a developmental perspective, this makes a lot of sense: kids are driven to explore the world, and a typical developmental trajectory will follow this guideline. Yet for kids that may not have that natural drive because of something like active reflexes impacting their freedom to explore, sensory sensitivity or underresponsiveness causing vulnerabilities here are there, how can we help them gain helpful motor and sensory feedback through movement and otherwise nonpreferred positions? For kids following either trajectory, how can we look at tummy time not as something we are forcing yet as an interactive, consistent, predictable way of being together?
If we were to put a child in “tummy time” on the floor and leave them there distressed- yep, that defeats the purpose of tummy time. If a child is feeling isolated, alone, or having a meltdown in the position, this is NOT conducive to their continuing to explore, continuing to grow and learn and develop and interact. Fortunately, tummy time can look widely different and the most effective kind is interactive and affect filled - see above. From an OT perspective, tummy time is a powerful way for a child to integrate a lot of senses and motor capacities as well as a great opportunity for interaction when they are so little.
We recommend tummy time even as early as day one, not tossing them on the floor but easily laying on a parent’s chest, stillness together getting used to it and feeling the warmth and interaction that comes from that. Mix it up, try different textures underneath, time on a therapy ball, time on your arms or legs, follow creativity and explore. The RIE’s philosophy it's coming from a place of trust in the child, which is gorgeous - and many kids will assume beneficial movement and postures on their own and be absolutely good to go. Many kids, however, do need interaction and social engagement to promote various developmental positions and this is a powerful source of sensory input that promotes development and encourages kids to do more at that age.
“Beyond this - it’s the foundation of the back and forth dance of figuring it out together.”
Beyond this - it’s the foundation of the back and forth dance of figuring it out together. The child doesn’t like the position, the adult attunes and reads their cues and adapts. We feel uncomfortable with the child being uncomfortable at first, and we work through our own triggers and “stuff” there. The child understands that through simple shifts in tone, movement, or simple through the attunement of another and sharing the experience, they can be okay again. They achieve the comfortable, uncomfortable yet still safe, back to comfortable exchange that sets foundation not just for sensory integration, motor development but organization and regulation all throughout the lifespan - all wrapped into a simple “tummy time” session.
So that’s that. A wholly brief snapshot of a pretty cool way of being with kids and a couple of areas we may want to expand on. Through it all, remember: No “philosophy” is a hundred percent of what a child needs. We are all kinds of different; family systems are, cultures are, kids are moment to moment and so are we. Pulling pieces from different philosophies that speak to us while adapting the heck out of it as needed can be game changing. Trust your instincts, go with what works for each little human in your life, and promote that unique, individual child's development, not that of their peers’ or that of the “expected child” in our mind.
“Trust your instincts, go with what works for each little human in your life, and promote that unique, individual child’s development, not that of their peers’ or that of the “expected child” in our mind.”