Connection through Relationship
"I don't like all this sugary, fake stuff" [How to Talk so Your Little Kids Will Listen]
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Honestly - who does? In a world of facade and these small snapshots highlighting all of the goodness life has to offer, it’s easy to get caught up in playing the “more” game instead of focusing on simplicity, connection. Any time I feel the sense of urgency and tell myself, “You have GOT to get some new clothes” or sign up for x training or buy x skincare product, x home item, work more, etc.- my strategy is to
put on the brakes.
check my immediate surroundings + appreciate
check the root emotion + be real with myself. Is the want really something that will bring more joy or is it something that will give a false sense of authenticity and perpetuate feelings of needing more... aka disconnection from the people or things already present?
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This is one way I work on my own self-regulation. Observe feelings, label them, then problem solve when I’m ready... I basically DIR parent myself constantly.
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I believe the more authentically we live, the more we can be genuine with the littles and show that it is connection that brings joy, not the external. Kids can pick up “sugary and fake stuff” a mile away and it is triggering to have an adult acknowledge emotion in a way that feels synthetic, especially if they are offering a cake pop to make the problem go away (totally well intentioned). I wonder if this distraction tactic pattern is partly responsible for our tendency to consume- relying on tangible things for emotional regulation in difficult times vs through connection via relationship. Here’s to practicing the latter with the littles and being real, even if it isn’t pretty for a while.
